So I was watching Wowowee on TFC (The Filipino Channel) with my dad yesterday...

 "Daig ng malalandi ang magaganda." - Tado, Wowowee 03-20-10 epi.

My English translation: 
"The flirt always win against the beautiful."

I was laughing, laughing, laughing, laughing, laughing, laughing... : D

So I thought I'd just share some funny quotes today :) Happy reading!


The Simpsons Show Quotes:
"Oh, Marge don't you know kids today? Bad means good and shake your booty means wiggle your butt."
Homer Simpson

"Quiet you kids. If I hear one more word, Bart doesn't get to watch cartoons, and Lisa doesn't get to go to college."
Homer Simpson

"If you really want something in life you have to work for it. Now quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers."
Homer Simpson

"A man who envies our family is a man who needs help."
Lisa Simpson

"Bart, having never received any words of encouragement myself, I'm not sure how they're supposed to sound. But here goes: I believe in you."
Lisa Simpson

Others:
"Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?"
George Carlin

"Every woman should have at least 4 pets"

A mink in the closet
A Jaguar in the garage
A tiger in bed and,
A jackass to pay for it all."
Paris Hilton

"This shirt is dry clean only, which means...it's dirty" 
Mitch Hedberg

Oh crap! You're going to try and cheer me up, aren't you?
Unknown

Cheerio!

If you don't go after what you want, you'll never have it. If you don't ask, the answer is always no. If you don't step forward, you're always in the same place.
Nora Roberts

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.
Mark Twain

Never regret. If it's good, its wonderful. If its bad, its experience.
Victoria Holt 

In three words I can sum up everything I've learned in life: It goes on.
Robert Frost

Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.
T.S. Elliot

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.
Steven Wright

Tell me I'm clever, tell me I'm kind, tell me I'm talented, tell me I'm cute, tell me I'm sensitive, graceful and wise. Tell me I'm perfect-- But tell me the truth.
Shel Silverstein

I'd rather be a could-be
If I could not be an are
For a could-be is a may-be
With a chance of touching par

I'd rather be a has-been
Than a might-have-been... by far
For a might-have-been has never been
But a has-been was an are
Unknown

Never frown because you never know how many people are falling in love with your smile.
Unknown

If the world don't suck, then we'd all fall off.
Unknown

You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.
Dr. Seuss

Whether you think you can or you think you can't; either way you're right.
Henry Ford

If you want to know what a man is truly like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals.
Sirius Black

If I could reach up and hold a star for every time you've made me smile, the entire evening sky would be in the palm of my hand.
Unknown

Count the garden by the flowers, never by the leaves that fall. Count your life with smiles and not the tears that roll.
Unknown

A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.
Winston Churchill

Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars.
Les Brown

Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I really need it.
Swedish proverb

A journey of a thousand miles begin with a single step.
Lao Tzu

It is better to be hated for what you are, than be loved for what you are not.
Andre Gide

To the world you may just be one person, but to one person you may be the world.
Brandi Snyder

When you get caught staring, just remember: they were looking back at you, too.
Unknown 

The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself. 
Mark Twain  

Watch your thoughts, for they become words.
Watch your words, for they become actions.
Watch your actions, for they become habits.
Watch your habits, for they become character.
Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.
Unknown

I'm a quote FREAK.